|
Caption Corner “ Not enough sense to pour piss out of a boot”
Phrase 20c. Used of one who is very stupid.
“Dr Farquar and your own Intelligence.”
Question. How come the sum of the intelligence on the planet remains a constant yet the population continues to grow? (Contributed by Don F.)
Dr Farquar. Because everyone knows someone who is completely stupid but put them out of their minds.
Q. Is it obvious to you as well that too many people are educated far beyond their intelligence? (Contributed by Don F.)
Dr F. Intelligence and common sense don’t mix.
Q. If scientists who try to find intelligent beings in outer space would try to find some on earth would they find any? (Contributed by Mattan F.)
Dr F. Yes, but not as we know it.
Q. If people on Earth are so smart why don't they stop looking for intelligent life elsewhere and educate the unintelligent life here instead? (Contributed by Debbie Davis)
Dr F. Not everybody has the Internet. If they did they would probably still be too thick to log on.
Q. Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe point AWAY from the Earth? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
Dr F. Because, I would like to leave too.
Q. What if the purpose of intelligent life is to get all that carbon back into the ecosystem? (Contributed by Heather Coon)
Dr F. If you get engaged to a person who could internally human combust at any moment this is called Carbon dating.
Q. Why is it that Artificial Intelligence is always the other guy's opinion? (Contributed by Vanboove)
Dr F. So Professor Stephen Hawkins can blame it on his voice synthesiser?
Q. Why do humans think they are smarter than elephants or marine mammals? After all, when you think about it, the elephants and mammals have larger brains, they don't have to work, and they have no reason to worry. Who do you think is the smarter? (Contributed by Becky Solly)
Dr F. Elephants smart? How come they can smell each other at 50 kilometres away but not poachers at fifty paces?
Q. If Einstein was so smart, why didn't he ever use a comb and some hair gel before having his picture taken? (Contributed by Cindy Moulin)
Dr F. Einstein discovered atomic research. This explains the haircut.
Q. Isn't the wealth of mankind, the wisdom that they leave? (Contributed by John O'Reily)
Dr F. Not in my experience.
Q. Sure you can tell whether a man is clever by his answers, but isn't it also true that you can tell whether a man is wise by his questions? (Contributed by Mahfouz Naguib)
Dr F. Why isn’t Chris Tarrant intelligent, then?
Q. How come it takes a lot of things to prove you are smart but only one thing to prove you are ignorant? (Contributed by Don Herold)
Dr F. You only notice what your housemaid doesn’t do.
Q. If education was to make us intelligent, how come the world's richest man is a school drop-out? (Contributed by Prasanth)
Dr F. Because not all wise guys are smart asses.
Q. Why is it that in the first half of your life, you know it all, and in the second half of your life, you forget it all? (Contributed by HaLife.com)
Dr F. Only at the point your parents stopped doing everything for you.
Q. Without education, wouldn't we be in a horrible danger of taking educated people seriously? (Contributed by Gilbert Keith Chesterton)
Dr F. It doesn’t matter. Most geniuses forget the punchline anyway.
Q. If temporary insanity were real, wouldn't there also be temporary intelligence? (Contributed by anonymous teacher)
Dr F. This is called getting a degree.
Q. How can we understand when our own comfort is all we think about? (Contributed by Pat F.)
Dr F. Because most people have very strong principles they are not prepared to stand up for.
Q. Does anyone else see the irony of misspelling 'Intelligence'? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
Dr F. Not as much as misspelling dyslexia.
Q. Doesn't wisdom denote the pursuing of the best ends by the best means? (Contributed by Francis Hutcheson)
Dr F. Yes, and then call it ‘friendly fire”.
Q. Doesn't 'counter' mean 'opposite'? If so, then wouldn't 'counter-intelligence' mean 'stupidity'? (Contributed by Richard)
Dr F. Only if you are served by people who give you the wrong change.
Dr Farquar’s book of “Unmentionable Material”
click here
|
