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The good the bad and the ugly. A personal analysis.
I will tell you about my teacher. He was Mr Fxxxxxx. Or 'Fridge' as we called him. He had suffered terrible torture at the hands of the Japs during the war. They pulled his eyelashes out and left him in a cold wet pit in solitary confinement for six months. Consequently he would rub his shoulders and shiver as a nervous 'tick' while his eyes used to twitch and screw up as if he was in pain. He would mutter verses of the Bible. His only companion during his imprisonment. He would shiver and shake and wear scarves on the hottest days. Halfway through his lesson he would stand up and putting his hands behind his back solemnly walk to the stationary cupboard, open the door, step inside, turn around and face the class and looking up close the door on himself. Emerging some ten minutes later as if nothing had happened. The first time this happened we would all whisper, gape and gasp but we soon got used to it. What we never got used to was the dreaded 'chair-leg' that he kept in a corner. We knew what it was for. If you played up he would make you sit on a chair at the front of the class with your stockinged feet hanging over his 'footstool'. He would swing the chair-leg at the soles of your feet three times. A form of persuasion he endured throughout his incarceration.
 Having said all this about Mr Fxxxxxx he may have had damage in the attic he would not tolerate any bullying and he was a bloody good teacher. He was particularly fond of my sisters and I because he was aware of discrimination against us and my religion at the time. It was almost that he had to protect us from the same kind of prejudice he suffered for different reasons. It was like we were prisoners of war too and he had that look of pity for us.
I can't resist sharing my thoughts with you as 'Fridge' was a great inspiration to me. When I was having the piss taken out of me his compassion and respect for my faith no matter how irrational in his eyes it seemed to him he gave me some insight into what he had been through. We had found infinity psychologically. His acts of barbarism though not as brutal to disobedient children as he had encountered by Japanese soldiers was his way of coping. He was abused and had to abuse. A common thing, yet, he abhorred others doing it to each other.
It makes you think about our instinct to 'control' by aggression and how it breeds more violence and how illogical it is. The atrocities of the twin towers has been responded to by a primal instinct that has been disguised as civilised and logical and a 'coalition' of democratic 'intelligence'. All violence is irrational and seems pure discrimination in its crudest form but sadly a 'driven' pattern of human behaviour. A concept that all species justify as sufficient to deal with any threat. Except, and this is interesting, an animal will choose a course of action based on a set of alternative choices and act immediately on this 'driven' urge. Humans abandon such expediency as with the treatment of terrorism. Violence or 'deserved retaliation is planned and calculated. Risks are assessed. Discussion exhaustive and 'tools' chosen for revenge.
I believe that this is little to with genetic makeup and that other forces come into play. This is a need to control. It is only primal up to a point then adrenaline takes over and later on becomes a 'nurture' experience. Neurological to the point of stimulating the brain to function and plan retaliation. The 'power trip' only lasts as long as our emotions cope with the rush of hormones. What happens next is the darker side of our human behavioural strategies. A vocalisation that in some sophisticated way is no different to the trancelike voodoo rituals that are enhanced by mind altering substances and hypnotism! To me it seems little different to the propaganda machine of the Third Reich. It was loving parents and Christian men that herded other humans into gas chambers. This is a taught behaviour so intrinsically complex that it has little to do with logic, intelligence or instinct. A learned behaviour that is triggered by or developed not by as some believe any environmental influences.
This depersonalisation of sorts is much the same as the effect of Post Traumatic Distress Disorder. When a victim has been exposed to over excitement or stress for a period of time it behaves strangely out of denial. The outside world becomes unreal and that person no longer feels responsible for his/her own survival, even self destructive. At the point of being threatened, humans react with identical behaviour and become depersonalised in an autonomous way like those who ran the death camps. Ironically the inmates of these hideous places act in the same way. Autonomy! The need for a 'coalition' with September 11th was simply exactly what the Nazis did with their propaganda. They shifted their guilt for bloodlust to the other person(s) to negate their own responsibility to behave in a rational or sensitive way. So confusing and blurred is this behaviour bears out the illogic of dropping 'bombs and bread' at the same time and being neurotic about the 'fair' treatment of prisoners who destroyed the lives of five thousand people in less than an hour! This is called hypocrisy of the highest order and irrational behaviour mistakenly interpreted as 'international interaction’ or human compassion. The self-accusation and political correctness is wiped from the agenda and that invites more difficulty.
So, this taught behaviour is coming from where? If it is too calculated to be instinctive and all our values are compromised and contrasting ones justified at the drop of a hat, can we blame it wholly on the nurture theory? Yes, elements of this excuse 'men behaving badly' but I believe this is more than just a discrepancy in our understanding of survival by 'nature and nurture'. Some birds can mimic sound and not others. A herring gull mother responds by regurgitating food given to her young by the chicks tapping a red spot on the yellow background of her beak. The youngsters soon recognise that by more accurate 'taps' means more food. Some do not thrive like their siblings simply because they have not learnt the skill to 'tap' or survive. My illustration is that not all of us survive necessarily as well or better through learned behaviour as animals, neither is it in our make-up to create hostile situations. We are the most sociable animals on earth. We group together in large cities to ensure our own survival and that of others. Generally we protect the weaker of our society. We champion the need for learning survival skills by education and healthcare. So, how can we become desensitised as a group on occasions of circumstance so very quickly and behave contrary to all had previously taught our children. One of my old chestnuts is that when the blame is shared or denied as a group it becomes justified, but if we as an 'individual' committed such behaviour we are punished for being erroneous!? If there are more perpetrators then that makes it OK. Hunting for Bin Laden and killing more innocent people and dismissively calling it 'collateral damage' is totally illogical and unintelligent. Osama is not the enemy. A whole system that is autonomous and de-personalised i.e. Fanatical Fundamentalism is the real or 'unreal' enemy. We are waging the same insanity at the wrong target, by the wrong justification. The motives are exactly the same on both sides.
So where does this 'drive' make groups react in contrary irrespective ways, come from? It is a distorted parallel of our senses. We are like Dr Jekyll. We are schizoid but with no available therapy. It is incurable because it impairs us to the point we believe that we are being perfectly sensible. We are in a permanent state of denial. We start to 'hear the voices' and we cannot help ourselves.
What are these 'voices'? Something in our sensory channels that make us act so predatory in large packs?
I will leave you with this thought. It has been said that professional dancers represent their own sexual impulses in dance the same way as mating flamingo's court. But it may well be displaced in humans. They might be good at the Lambada but prematurely ejaculate or be selfish lovers! Aggression can also be found in competitive sports to compensate for other inadequacies in those 'sporty types' that have been denied or unfulfilled in their other areas of life. To make that person socially acceptable by hiding the insecurity (or subliminal need .. it's still a 'need' even if it is ignored!) to be gratified in some other way.
Could it be that engaging aggression and shelving or displacing our previously held values be a way of hiding something far deeper? An unconscious desire that imprisons us? A knowledge we deny and is left lying under the surface.
A force within ourselves so dangerous that like the adept young herring and the runt of the clutch both share but neither know why one achieves more than the other. Something we have no control over and so we use something else to stifle what we really want and need?
Like a remote control car we are being 'driven' by a pilot of our future. It is like being in a film stunt when we have never performed the stunt before or even knew what was going to happen. So is it any wonder I have to examine stuff so closely. I rely on instinct heavily. That is why I believe in logic in an almost irrational way. I think logic has a habit of having it sensible values blow up in its face. Typically it tries to be the parent of rational thought but time and time again it fails in the role. One way to explain it is that influence and genetic makeup can make our species behave in logical ways, but negative behaviour can still be the result. Logic can be bad for you. If we adapt our lives to survive based on logic then we might just thumb-suck and copycat our way forward but end up treading water and unfulfilled. It is only by being irrational sometimes and take 'silly' risks that gives us more scope to 'trust our instincts' as never before.
Nothing to do with 'nature or nurture' fate or destiny, God or Islam!
Its corny to call it the 'power of the mind'. But it has to do with a 'cut-out switch' that like a clutch on the car disengages and switches into a higher gear to get where its heading. It is unseen and makes a choice outside of our conscious mind to be come a spiritual guide. This subliminal 'mind' force is in a very small way like the wind. You can see what it does but you cannot see it. You can feel it but you cannot touch it. It will sweep you along or stop you dead. The only difference with this other iconic force is that it is not wandering or indiscriminate. It decides what to do with humanity every step of the way. It has no motive to destroy man but to ensure our survival. Am I copping out of believing in God and the 'soul' or what? No, God is (supposed to be) looking for worship and loyalty. God did not bank on making his first mistake and that is creating us with human will, until this mind force switches off and basic instinct replaces it. The primitive aggressive characteristics come into play. Unlike instinct the mind is underpinned with this spiritual power. Not the spiritual awareness we read so much about. Not simple human spirit, or instinct. It is not having God on your side or a special reason to live. It is not knowledge or experience. My thought while not dissimilar to those of certain philosophers what I believe is not found in any book. I really think I am on the threshold of a different kind of journey.
My thoughts are a mixture of things with no 'linkage' but that of a fuzz logic. Ambiguous but hopefully not self-contradictory. It is not that I am filled with some new insight, but I believe that certain things are revealed to me that only make sense through dreams and personal experience. 'Events in your head and in bed' as I put it. I will tell you about them later when I feel I know you better. I am not unusual and I am piecing things together that will astonish you. Lets face it, all dreams have significance. It is how they relate or 'explain' your meaning and purpose that will shape ones thinking for years to come. It is the same power that 'moves' us when we see death. That feeling of grief is not just a feeling of loss and sorrow. A natural human response. It is the feeling of desperation. The 'will' to survive that cancels out the inevitable kiss of death. Of course it is loss, saying good-bye and many other things. It is realisation of our own mortality and the undeniable 'hope' that we may not have to physically die one day ourselves. I tell you atheists cry a lot more at the graveside, because most believe that 'really is it'. Or do they? Grieving is just saying good-bye and 'missing' the deceased. Natural. Meeting them again in heaven is the scary part. They have ringside seats! They will have a few scores to settle if they do see you again. Heaven is the most amusing notion and millions have fallen for it. Hell is the bedtime story of any good catholic but having winged demons pitchfork you at intervals is prehistory nonsense reserved for the next Lord of the Rings and superstitious nonsense better suited for the paranoid.
A more charitable view is
Sometimes we have to show true love and let go of our principles to fulfil that deep love. I am a firm believer in euthanasia. I see good candidates for it every day!
This theory of mine, lets not called it 'love' or 'human will'. The 'power of love' is a much abused term. I will call it '' 'mind emigration' The argument is to show that the reason for emotion especially at death is because we are not just saying good-bye to our loved ones we are saying hello to a 'ourselves'. In the deepest corners of our mind we are recognising a least known 'natural function' and that is the fusion of metaphysical dynamics that now evolve to a condition that transmigrates with others to join this mega spiritual 'force'. It is energy not mass. Like an army that gets stronger by joining its allies the 'living mind' leaves its earthly home at physical departure and joins others like itself to master our destiny. Remember far more are living today than have ever lived. Fact. Still, a combinative force to be reckoned with. It is a massive quantitative of great perception and strength. That gets stronger. Are all those people who perished in the twin towers there? I think so. Like a drop of condensation on a glass of lager it will travel down the outside picking up other beads of moisture to gather strength and speed until it reaches the end of the journey. Except the journey doesn't end. The same 'will' or energy that organised matter to create life it will like the seasons continue.
It is all energy. Harnessed and sophisticated. Not blind like gravity but measured and metered out as any power station. It is regulated and distributed. Like electricity it can be used for good and bad. Be stored or wasted. Can change or transcend. Mighty or gentle. Mobilise or destroy. Good and bad energy makes up the known universe. Like positive and negative contacts. To pull or push us.
How, reincarnation? Yes, but not on this planet. If we think that the many Galaxies were made for us to admire when out walking the dog and just for our own benefit we are being very naive. I believe our minds are transported to other worlds by a natural force that configures in simple terms the same way we send an e-mail. The co-ordinates are unknown to us. Our physical presence may completely change. Like we remember the good parts about dead people when eulogising about friends lost in death, in the same way I believe our 'virus free data' is saved on a larger memory and used towards improvement of life in whatever form it may take in other worlds. I believe the universe is populated many times over and we are all part of the bigger picture. We coexist with our terrestrial relatives. I don't understand how, but why else would we have the capacity to learn so much and yet use just a fraction of that potential before dying to leave it all behind?
I strongly belief that this is just a training ground for our survival elsewhere. Our bodies are merely vehicles of a more intangible lesser known but nonetheless extraordinary 'body' too highly ordered our brains are not able to fathom it.
Man invented God not the other way around. Our will is the one thing that determines us. We are being challenged each day to survive a far more 'logical' world where we will have our questions answered. We are 'lab rats' about to be freed. The our true freedom will be realised not from a fluffy cloud but with the union of our minds and other interplanetary strategic residences in whatever shape or form we may take. It is all subliminal now but when we die it will become reality but with better perception and growth. It is not that I believe we are immortal. It is our will the power of our mind and above all our 'positive emotion', or, the symbol of this brief existence that will be transcend into paranormal 'materialisation' who knows where! Not ghosts but shape shifting unconsciously, until we reach our destination but still consciously. That bit is hard to explain because like we slip in and out of consciousness when we are in a coma, I believe we are as unaware until we have made the transition into our other more superior form. I don't believe in negative reincarnation. That we could be eating a parsnip that may be our Father! It is like a spiritual evolution of the mind and our new form is 'naturally' selected'. It has nothing to do with other greater minds than those of others. Each has its own merit and is not judged by any performance based criteria. Some have had more opportunity for learning than others but equally one mind may have acted more generously in other ways. Our minds have not been turned upside down and shaken violently. Everyone has something to bring to the party. Evil minds will still have something to offer to ensure our ultimate survival as much as good.
Good and evil are the products of both positive and negative energy. They need each other as the North and South pole. Equal in balance. Before the advent of religion the known civilised world had a unhindered and well balanced survival pattern or strategy. Insecurity caused by the need for organised religion and its hellfire doctrine to influence the masses through Svengali-type leaders helped to control an ever growing population. Stripping individuals of their own instincts and independence. The law of the jungle became the law of Christendom.
Rules were invented to manipulate the community for the good of the church. Except the church was bad karma. It bullied its community rather than working with it. Quaint and implausible stories of our existence was accredited to a God and not natural energy. It wanted to shape all our destiny wholesale. But this is not natural selection merely pseudo elitism based on neurosis. The neurosis of guilt infliction to get obedience. Or mind control. The conscious mind. If there is a God who had a hand in our creation he was clever enough to use a back-up system that of the subconscious which can take charge of the controls and free our mind when we tap into the right kind of energy.
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, but I assume all the lets, say 'good-evil' and 'evil-good' that happens each has its place in the master-plan. We 'make excuses' to see fit to inflict 'evil' when we are ourselves are inflicted with it first. The same way the mind makes decisions. Individually the mind is not potent but as a participating energy the history and future of our destiny is discerned by it.
Humans get 'feedback' from time to time and by this I believe we see evidence of paranormal events. This we cannot ignore. These are 'previews of what lies beyond' or what has just overtaken us.
The concept of heaven and hell are to satisfy our need to be punished for our autonomy. Or our inexcusable behaviour while here on earth. We don't know why we do evil things and respond with the same and call it 'good' or justice. It is the one thing that denies everything we hope to stand for. Such a split personality must be dealt with by blaming death and our 'reward' eternal torment. That is the real cop-out! This is the real denial of our behaviour. It is much harder to accept that 'good' and 'bad' people have the same need to survive like the herring chicks but the tug of war must have a winner. You win some you lose some. But to veil bad behaviour as 'good' is the real atrocity. Especially when this is nothing to do with human instinct but 'learned behaviour'. I sometimes think wickedness is more of a 'skill' than being good by whatever means. That is why we glorify evil on movies and in the media. Being good does not ensure your survival. But killing might. Attack is the best form of defence. Murder gets bums on seats. We love to see others mutilated! Where is the line between fantasy and fiction? The frightening thing is that we are trusted to draw that line because of free will. Altruism is boring. Conflict is captivating. Paganism on the other hand believes that for every bad deed three good deeds must be done to redress the balance. That we all take responsibility for our actions by 'making good'. How many pagans massacred others or fought wars over their belief system? Pagans were here before Christians, yet you hardly know they are around. They don't fly planes into buildings do they?
I want to be a pagan savage!
I would have been burnt at the stake four hundred years ago for this!
I have a mystical view but I hope it is based on good logic and common sense!
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