Mobile Phones

Well, 'mobile sitters'! Imagine paying someone to fight off debt collectors! Sort of irony there. Don't they have a switch on them which says off? I always said that those things would be the end of the world. It is supposed to improve communication, yet,have you ever been with someone who either needs to go to Addenbrookes Hospital to have it removed from their hand or who sits there, not listening to anything you have to say because they are expecting 'an important call'? Think about how restrictive they are, if someone very close to you dies, then the emergency services have immediate contact with you. It means that no matter where you are in the world, one call could ruin your holiday.

Andrea and I went one whole year without a phone when we first got married and we used to go to the phone kiosk at the end of the road on a Friday on the way to the fish and chip shop to make our calls .....it was utter bliss. “Sorry Uncle Egbert but I only have 10p, How are you... beep, beep, beep." I mean, it is such an unnatural and artificial way to communicate. Some people do the weirdest things while they are on the phone. They pick spots, ears, and nose, comb their hair, examine their tongue in the mirror. Doodle like they are really bored.

They actually pre-empt a list of things to end the call as quickly as possible to ensure that the other person does not keep them talking. Yes, before they pick up the phone. For instance: "Oh, no the toast is burning .. or .. there goes the microwave ... or .... the baby’s crying (quick jab to the temples with a rattle) I must go ... or .... my wife is naked at the bedroom door ... or I've suddenly become doubly incontinent .... I've left the landing lights on and here comes a Jumbo jet ..... Aunty Moira has eaten the cat .... there’s a force ten hurricane and you better go before we get cut off?????? I mean, we wouldn't act like that in front of people. I was in the Lamb hotel with the clients for a coffee. I was there for a solid hour and I watched a young pretty girl gabble to her friends on her phone about the most personal details of her life. I mean it is so sad. Can't she afford real people for God's sake? Three large rounds of coffee and biscuits would not have cost as much as her call!!!

I know they are good for emergencies, you know, if your wife breaks down and
she has no way of getting home. Or if you have just got in the pub and you get a call to help her with shopping at Tesco's ...... on the other hand who bloody needs one?

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If you wish to use anything either text or graphics please ask permission