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MARRIAGE IS LOVE!
by Stoyan Valev www.bg-dekameron.com
Translated from Bulgarian by: Mariana Zagorska
For Emmie men had turned into a catch, and sex - into a rightful prey. Her main weapon was her beauty, but she relied more on her daring, sudden attacks, false retreats, and tireless willingness of men to betray their wives and eminent obstinacy to protect their right of personal happiness.
At the age of eighteen she understood that being a woman is the highest privilege given by nature and blessed with her beauty, she had picked up the winning ticket for each lottery. For a moment she thought breathless of her findings and although she was quite uncertain at the beginning, she started discovering rules, which later turned into a whole, almost philosophic system.
When she chose a husband, all her friends exclaimed in astonishment and disappointment.
For Michail was her antipode - a reticent man, some plain early-bald scientist, whose greatest happiness was reading day and night and wandering in the field of physics, chemistry and mathematics and drinking what could be got by mixing the three of them. No doubt the cocktail was awful, Emmie was absolutely sure about it. Although being moony like any scientist, he had a perfect feeling for money and earned well - he added to his miserable salary surprisingly high payments from various sources. He owned a magnificent house inherited by his parents. His few free hours he spent in dreams seeing himself as a scientist in one of the world's famous research institutes.
By marrying Michail, Emmie, like a real general, ensured her back and rushed towards all possible fronts for men hunting.
She loved to play cat-and-mouse with men; she set them numerous traps and tricks, challenged them and predicted their reactions, amusing herself constantly.
She was 23 and in her herbarium she had already dozens of wonderful male specimens of various kinds and professions. When she left them, they still kept in their mind her phones and the memory of a woman blew up their ideas about love and sex.
Like every woman, Emmie felt overmastering desire to tell and share her experience and finally found in her colleague Aglika her bosom friend.
Once Emmie saw her staring with glowing eyes at a photo published in a magazine.
'He's the only man I would never touched', she sighed with discontent and overt sadness and explained that her sister's husband was on the photo.
'Why?', Emmie asked surprised and determined her diagnosis, 'You're such a fool!'
'No, I'm not!' Aglika disagreed with her completely.
Soon it happened to meet him quite by chance. They ran into him at a bar entrance - he was a tall, impressive and handsome man. When he saw Aglika, he got confused, pushed the lady clumsily in front of him, and just then stopped at them nervous. He started talking with Aglika, so Emmie had the chance to look at him thoroughly, then she stole a glance at his lady - blond, very skinny, having long and maybe too scraggy hips. But some tits she had!
When they sat and had their favorite cocktails, Emmie laughed and poked her friend, 'Do you want me now to describe your sister?'
'That scamp was not with my sister but with his new lover!', Aglika exclaimed with indignation.
'I know! That's why I could describe your sister, maybe slightly but correct.' And in the face of her stunned friend she started, 'Black hair!'
"I might have told you!', Aglika smiled skeptically.
'Slightly overweight, not fat but let's say fluffy, ah?', Emmie was talking with closed eyes as if she was seeing Aglika's sister in front of her.
'You got it right!', Aglika felt confused and grabbed Emmie's hand. 'How did you know?'
Emmie opened her eyes with discontent.
'I'll tell you. Let me finish first!', and she closed her eyelids again continuing as she if was seeing into another world: 'What she suffers most are her tits. They are quite small, are they?'
'Well, yes… Why? They are OK!', Aglika exclaimed, but at the end she admitted with displeasure, 'Well, they are not as mine, you're right! Her tits are small but nice!'
'Well, I'm right, am I?', Emmie asked triumphant.
'How did you know, you bitch?', Aglika asked her by looking stunned at her.
'From his lover, my dear', Emmie screwed her eyes mysteriously and laughed.
'How's that? Tell me!', Aglika asked impatiently, dizzy with her skills.
'It's quite simple! Like an equation! Every husband seeks in his lover what he can't find in his wife!', Emmie said with an absolutely serious tone.
'So your husband should have a lover with enormous tits!', Aglika giggled and outlined some huge forms.
'Well, yes! This is the law!', Emmie nodded.
'And who has discovered this law, darling?', Aglika asked doubtful and with overt irony.
'Me. I guess other people know it too. But the formula is always the same. You look thoroughly at the husband and the wife and create their antipodes. A piece of cake.' Emmie shook her head and laughed soundly again.
'Therefore, darling, you don't have any chance with my brother-in-law', her friend said suddenly excited.
'Why do you think so?', Emmie was stunned.
'Because you have black hair, just like my sister, and your tits are almost the same as hers, in fact they are identical, yes! How could I miss it so far?', Aglika looked at her critically as she was seeing her for the first time, shook her head and burst into laughter.
'Darling, you haven't got into the heart of the Infidelity Law, I have discovered. The striking power in this case is me, and your brother-in-law here is an antipode of Michail - an unacknowledged genius in physics but my pathetic husband. You know them both so, make comparisons! So?', she leaned her back and waited exultant.
'Michail is short while my brother-in-law Valery is tall! OK. Michail is blond and my brother-in-law has black hair!'
'Well', Emmie laughed and suggested,' Now compare their weights!'
'Again exactly the opposite - Valery is about to reach 220 pounds while I'm not sure whether Michail weights 100 pounds?'
'Last time the pointer showed 165!'
'So, what's next, darling?', Aglika asked confused and scared at the same time.
"In that case I have to prove you the law efficiency!', Emmie lifted her finger. 'And remember, the Infidelity Law is universal'.
Although against her will, Aglika finally rendered some help providing scanty information. That was enough for Emmie to start hunting her next prey. Through his close friends, who she also appeared to know personally, she arranged to invite her at a cocktail party. First, she watched him for about an hour and then rushed to a well-planned attack.
She came near him quite casual and said right in his face, 'No!'
He looked at her in total surprise. He nearly dropped his glass and managed to say only, 'What is going on?'
'I said 'No!', Emmie said between her teeth.
'But I haven't said anything, maybe… you're just kidding?', Valery asked quite worried. He looked around scaring of a public scandal. There were two ministers, several deputies, ambassadors, many businessmen and a pack of journalists sniffing like hyenas.
'No jokes! No! That's my answer for you!', Emmie's voice was very official, even a little bit angry, while she was stamping demonstratively her foot.
'What are you talking about? Would you please explain to me?, he asked her in total confusion.
'You'll never have me off!', Emmie said and proudly turned away her head. She saw a few people watching them with interest, which were increasing dangerously. Two of the ladies came closer and pricked up their ears.
'Come on!', he laughed and relaxed. 'I thought something bad had happened', and he looked all over the woman staying in front of him. Her hurricane-like red hair, a color she got three days ago, inspired him to stretch out his hand and fondle her, but she drew back filled with indignation like some old spinster - enthusiastic man-hater.
'I said 'no!', Emmie recited belligerently and stepped back so his hand remained hanging in the air. She knew they were a very interesting sight for the others.
'No, but yes!', he laughed again and admitted in confusion, 'Please, excuse me. We met a few minutes ago, but I can't remember your name.'
'Emmie. The woman who will never go in bed with you!', she introduced herself, scowling at him.
'I met you with my sister-in-law some time ago, yes', now he remembered and relaxed. Then he whispered in her ear, 'Well, I would fight for your hand, for the right to kiss your lips, to fondle your breasts, to take off your bikinis', Valery stopped screwing his eyes and winked pawkily,' Do you know where my fingers are right now?'
'I know. Man can do anything in his dreams! But in real life you will never do it with me! You have to realize it!', she answered and harshly turned him her back, then for a second she looked over her shoulder and said smiling, 'You're such a scoundrel, Valery!'
The trap was set and now he was supposed to scurry, open his mouth and take a bite of the cheese.
After the cocktail party, Valery chased her every day, and Emmie like a good and devoted wife rushed from the library right at home. She was always seeing his car following her. He used to park the car and waited across her house.
At the end of the week, her husband came back home smiling victoriously, 'Finally the fools remembered about me! They are sending me on a specialization in one of the world famous institutes! It's the Mecca of physics! Do you know what this means to me?'
Emmie played perfectly a great delight with her husband's totally deserved new success - she enraptured like a child and then cried sadly like a small child because he would be far away for such a long time.
Michail left on Tuesday morning, she went with him to the airport. At the end of the day when she went out of the library, her swain was not there. She looked around in disappointment and confusion - no trace of his car.
She walked with her head down, wondering frightened, "Did I really fail for the first time in my life?'
She hesitated for a long time whether to stop in a bar and have a drink, but she didn't want to go alone.
She unlocked the solid door with shaking hands and went into the house. She threw her bag on the floor wildly and run to the living room as her tears welled up and ran down her cheeks. Emmie froze at the door hearing a cheerful cry from the kitchen, 'I'm here, sweetheart!'
She stopped with a hand on her heart, turned back in fear, but didn't see anyone. 'Come here, don't be afraid!', the voice called her again. It seemed somehow familiar. Who was this man in their kitchen? A thief? She was thinking chaotically while stepping to the kitchen nervous and totally confused, but also filled up with wild curiosity. And then she saw him - it was Valery.
He was wearing an elegant suit and a fine tie and was holding a big bunch of flowers. Behind him the table was served for two.
'No, you really have no shame!', she said indignant later in the bed.
'Why? I have ensured you a three-month marriage leave. Anyway you value marriage low', Valery laughed.
'You mean you have arranged my husband's specialization? And he, the naïve dunce thought he has been finally appreciated! Such a fool!' Emmie exclaimed in surprise and anger. She pushed Valery away. 'I don't need a leave!'
'Isn't it nice to live together for a while?', he asked with resignation.
'Maybe', she said mysteriously
When she told everything to Aglika, she couldn't believe her ears, but finally accepted the situation as Emmie's last victory.
The three months passed quickly and the fairy tale came to its end. What else is love than a fairy-tale?
When Michail came back, she fell with enthusiasm into his arms, rested her head on his chest, shed a few tears and in the evening they decided to celebrate his return going to a restaurant.
'I want you to tell me everything', she asked impatient.
'You first!', Michail said suddenly.
'What can I tell you? I have such a dull time without having you here! From the library right at home, every day the same thing' she shook her head sadly.
'I know' he nodded and laughed.
'What? Do you suspect me of lying to you? Maybe you think I was unfaithful to you?', terrified, Emmie stood breathless with indignation and anger.
'No! Just Aglika, your colleague, told me everything', Michail admitted somehow guiltily.
'Traitor!', Emmie's blood curdled with fear. She has never thought Aglika would be the one who would betray her. Chaos of thoughts flew into her head. She felt she was about to lay down a new law - law for the inevitable betray in women's friendship…
'But I didn't believe her!', Michail tried to calm her down.
"And you did right!', Emmie encouraged him, thought for a second and said, 'She's lying!'
'But her sister confirmed her words', Michail shook his head and sighed.
'Well, that's enough! I will never forgive her!', Emmie clenched her fist, totally confused. Something was going on. Michail, the miserable wretch, was striking blow after blow on her. What had happened to him? He had been changed during these months or maybe even earlier?, Emmie repeated in confusion, 'I will never forgive her!'
'Who? The cheated wife or your envious colleague?', Michail asked quietly. He seemed to be a totally different person - woven of irony, all at once cocksure, bold and strong!
For the first time in her life she felt trapped without seeing any way out. Michail looked like a hunter and she had to escape from his well-directed attacks.
'Okay! From now on do what you want. I wish you good luck in all your initiatives!', Michail laughed and all of a sudden suggested looking at her ironically, 'But I think that you have to forgive them anyway!'
'Never!', she went off thinking about the chance of getting some information and asked confused, 'Why?'
'I promised!'
His answer left her in absolute shock.
'You've met them!', her exclamation sounded as a question and inference at the same time. He was continuing to chase her and she still couldn't find a way out…
'I talked with them today. I spoke with both of them very responsible as a man should talk to a woman!', he explained with mockery and somehow casually as if all this was quite normal, looking at her imperturbably, 'You don't believe me, don't you?', Emmie outraged.
'Not at all. I love you more than ever! Although I have to tell you that I've signed a contract with the institute and we should move there in autumn… I'm sorry, if you wish to come with me, of course…', he was so calm that she was petrified with fear.
Something had happened to that man, Emmie found hectically and she had to react adequately to that change, 'We're leaving! Hurray! I'm sick and tired of traitors who pretend to be my friends!'
She kissed him while watching carefully for his reaction. Michail's voice cut her to the quick by suddenly suggesting to her, 'Look back to see who is right behind you!'
Feeling helpless, she turned to the left, then to the right and saw Valery coming to their table.
He sat easily on the empty chair.
'Thank you for your unconscious help. In the autumn I'm starting work at the institute', Michail said smiling.
'I knew you'd make it!', Valery patted him on the shoulder and also smiled. 'Well, I'm not going to pretend I did it only because of you.'
'I know. She was the real reason', Michail pointed at Emmie and smiled.
'The water under the bridge'. If there is a lucky end, then everything has gone well", Valery said kindly.
'Who knows, maybe you're right?', Michail waved forgivingly and suddenly fondled Emmie.
She huddled up like a wild animal ready to jump. She found herself ensnared, for the first time in her life caught in a trap she hasn't set alone. She felt like being an exchange coin in some others play. The Infidelity Law needed immediate supplement and it had to be done now!
'Love is like business. And like physics, too - nature doesn't brook any empty space', Valery winked playfully.
'Marriage is business, mathematics, physics and…', Michail started with inspiration.
'And love", Emmie interrupted him to close the subject.
Valery stood up and left. Emmie followed him with her eyes and saw him sitting at a table for two. The woman was sitting with her back to Emmie but she seemed very familiar to her.
'Aglika', Michail prompted, following her eyes, and then ordered a bottle of champagne. To her questioning eyes he answered pretending to be confused but it was obvious he was enjoying the situation. 'Let's celebrate!', he said.
'What?', Emmie asked bristling up and moved away her eyes from Aglika's naked back. She thought she could formulate an axiom - when a woman says she would never do anything, it means only that she hasn't decided yet how to do it.
'For the new start of our competition!', her husband smiled radiantly.
'Actually, that's the end! We shall put the start there', Emmie threatened him.
'I have to tell you something - I made some efforts and tried', he turned again into her old Michail - confused, uncertain and timorous, even his forehead sweated with tension.
'I know' Emmie helped him. She said it calmly but inside she was like a raging volcano. Is he really slipping out, she thought. But she suggested merrily, 'Let me guess, blond?'
'Yes', he nodded shyly.
'And her tits were like this?', she outlined two huge balloons in front of her.
'A little bit smaller' he said visibly interested in her skills.
'Okay!', she agreed and dropped a hint, 'Plump?'
'I would say fluffy', he corrected her but didn't manage to hide his astonishment and exclaimed, 'Hey, how did you know it?'
'You guess', Emmie answered and raised her glass draining it. The situation was still under her control and she was taking the helm back. He stood puzzling, so Emmie said with contempt, 'You said you are a physicist! And so what? You can't realize one simple law!'
'Law?' he looked sincerely shocked.
'The Infidelity Law, my dear!', she tweeted and nestled her head on his shoulder.
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