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Tourist Tantrums. One in three British couples admit to having a blazing row on holiday, a survey reveals. Most happen in the first two days of the holiday. The British survey of 800 people by travel agent Thomas Cook also found that one in ten didn't feel like their holiday had started until day three of the trip. And a fifth of those who argue were those who were under most strain from work or relationships. Philip Hodson, of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says, "Travel itself may be stressful, but more important is our biological difficulty in making the transition from work to play. It's a kind of jet lag of the spirit." We have all been there. Holiday rows are commonplace and essential for everybody to get into a holiday mood. We have reality shows now that teach us how to go berserk on holiday. “Airport” is a whole TV series devoted to showing holidaymakers as pedantic prats as the ground staff remain calm and collected. read more
Don't Bank on Bank Robbers. According to police in Toledo, Ohio, in March, during the robbery of the Gold Star Market, Joseph Allen Wilson, 18, accidentally shot and killed his 30-year-old accomplice, who was posing as a customer and whom Wilson was "threatening to kill" as part of the clever plan to get the clerk to open the register... read more
Xmas is coming the goose is getting fat… Why is that some folk love the c-word and others loathe it? It’s a fact that not all Christians are aware of the true meaning of c-word. That, for instance so much honour and grace be attributed to overindulgence. Like weddings it’s a good excuse for getting drunk, having your picture taken and enjoying a good feed. However, most people are not that god fearing as too many simmering Brussels sprouts are usually scary enough. read more
Senility or Stupidity. People say ‘Life begins at Forty’ but neglect to say you are f*cked at fifty. If Life begins at forty why do you have to be a Saga member at all? Charabanc of coffin dodgers singing ‘We’ll meet again’ stopping at every teashop because of weak bladders and to stuff themselves with scones. Yes, old age comes to all of us. I am just a year or two off the half-century mark and already exhibiting signs of dementia. For example: Sleeping with other women I believe to be my wife. Obliviously shoplifting, obviously. Forgetting it’s my round of beer. Burning the toast read more
SPORTS DAY LOOMS Well, school Sports day looms this weekend. I have inherent fear seeping from every pore. Especially, when they ask parents to judge races that get very controversial and end up with heated exchanges...("Give me that sticker, my Timothy was first ..you fascist!" Leading you, to choose your words carefully... "How is Timothy's diet since they wired his jaws together?" ) Even more terrifying...parents being coerced to take part in an event themselves. There is always one Dad or Mum who does the London marathon every year, and expectantly wins breaking into a brisk stroll, while the rest of us, ageing candidates for heart attacks and St John's ambulance, don't have a crash cart in sight .... read more
LAME EXCUSES FOR NOT TURNING UP FOR WORK I don't want to stop others from working. I have suffered an upsetting breakdown, and my bike has a puncture too. I have been invited to a body-painting party after contracting scabies. I am waiting for the microwave repair man, because our puppy defrosted too quickly. I have slipped a disc by copying a sex act the MD described. I need an eye test and the cinema might be a good way to try them out .... read more
TRAINING THE TRAINERS A new "smart" running shoe from Adidas could revolutionise distance running and training. The company says it developed the "smart shoe", mating it with a computer chip to adapt its cushioning level to a runner's size and stride. A microprocessor in the arch of the shoe drives a tiny screw and cable system. It adjusts the heel cushion depending on the signals sent back by an electric sensor coupled to a magnet. It's powered by a battery that conserves power by adjusting the shoe while it is in the air during a runner's stride, avoiding resistance from the ground. read more
NO EXCUSE FOR IMPOTENCE We marvel at the human body? How complex it's engineering? Why, though, when we reach the pinnacle of health and fitness everything starts 'to go South' and, particularly in the male species 'the little soldier' no longer wants to 'stand to attention'? Considering the different substances that form these astonishing 'vehicles' we inhabit, I find it almost inconceivable that men should ever have to lose their 'hydraulics' at any stage of our brief existence. read more
GARDEN OF STRESS I had always wanted a back yard big enough for a vegetable garden. So when my husband and I last went house-hunting 16 years ago, that was a top priority. When we first saw the house, the back yard was certainly big enough. There was a little L-shaped patch in the corner of the back yard, hidden behind the privacy fence surrounding the hot tub and redwood deck. This little patch looked a little neglected, read more
School Uniform. Is cloning our kids giving them an identity crisis? Kids and the way their minds work make me really think. They see past all the clutter and just focus on what is really important. It's a crime what adults do to pollute their free minds. That straightforward lack of self consciousness. read more
Ask not what your country can do etc etc.. Looks like you had a busy weekend. Posh paint. Oval blue, eh, I didn't know you moved in those circles! So the boys hog the TV watching Rugby? How do you tackle them over it? read more
Separating the Sheep from the Goats I went to our local Cathedral 'Christingle' ceremony. An offering to 'see the light of Christ'. Of course the kids get right into it. They get to tramp around the vestry with a candlelit orange festooned with sweets impaled on cocktail sticks jabbed into the peel at effective angles to produce the most injury. Not content with having your eye out with this object of worship you are handed a song sheet with its very own health warning. I felt like a nun at a singles bar for the entire hour. read more
Brace yourself I suppose its only when I become curious at my full figure at places like Debenhams. Where once I was trying on trousers that with stubborn determination I squeezed myself into. I was horrified that they were two sizes bigger than the pair I took off! read more
Canada Conundrum Well, Canada is fab and funky. I have never been but I have a Canadian friend who goes into rapchewers over the place. It's big and cold but has a very nice line in whisky mixers. My friend loves Canada so much she visits twice a year, but still lives in this dreary country because we have a sense of humour read more
Free Choice or Free Will I am a sort of an atheist but I do believe life has a purpose of infinite power, we are only beginning to see through the confusion. Those who are visual about this will 'see' it through perception. It will involve choices. Turn what we considered as fundamental knowledge on its head.. read more
You are what you eat. To the Batcave Robin Do animals have rights? Is vegetarianism just a western luxury because of food choice not found in the Third world? How deep are your principles? Would you compromise them to survive, is this what real convenience food is? read more
Above and beyond the call of duty with 'Scare in the community' Talking about work I have just been to S.K.I.P. to learn all about control and restraint of challenging behaviour of service users. I 'd like to try a few moves out on Beth actually! I spent all day grappling on the floor with young nurses trying to avoid having my nuts grabbed or being shown 'pin down' by two buxom females astride each end of my body! It was hell. I'm going again tomorrow! read more
Vegetarianism - An ill wind Even, betting or gambling, business activities or sport are all forms of hunting. Of course those of us in urban areas are in steady jobs or 'making a living' in far less adrenalin driven 'stressful' circumstances, but we still want to watch the football or the fight! read more
Jubilee Jollies As part of my duties I have been reluctantly swept along with the furore and spent the last several shifts at work and at home being manipulated to construct huge gargantuan and grotesque figures for carnival floats and parades. If I see another pot of PVA or a red white and blue boater I am sure to lose it. read more
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