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THINGS YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW
Here are some unlikely titles for fun books or articles.
First person to send in a humourous contribution wins a copy of
the new “Original Pet Hats Handbook” by Perry Estelle
"Taking steps to steal ladders"
"How to complain in restaurants by involuntary vomiting"
"How to escape rape charges by eating the D.N.A" (sorry)
"How to start a smear campaign against your Gyneocologist"
"Promiscuity made easy"
"Jumping queues by putting others in their place"
"How to trust a women the other three weeks of the month"
"When to tell women their make-up is a waste of money"
"How to sell other peoples organs without them noticing."
"How to distract Buckingham Palace guards usuing a pot of varnish."
"Body art for those people that have designs on you."
"How alcohol can be the urination of you."
"How to offer sex to strangers without giving them the hump."
"Constipation and Gurning. How to stop pulling silly faeces."
"How to sleep with beautiful women without them noticing."
"How to worm household pets using kitchen cutlery."
"How gravy can improve your sex life."
"What to do with the rest of a piece of arse."
"How to shag an ugly optician without paying for an eyetest."
"How to drink from beer driptrays in pubs without any embarrassment."
"What to do with a vibrating mobile phone when your boyfriend dumps you."
"Druids. How they come to be a Shamen of themselves."
"How to enter a sex shop when you are old and mistake it for the post office while browsing."
"Why cheap fishfingers have grey bits in."
"How porn can help stop your wife asking for sex."
"Golfers and Body piercing. How to get a hole in one."
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